I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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