"it" just moved
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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