I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
