apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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