He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
