I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
