Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
