and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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