WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
