i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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