Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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