I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
