But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
