Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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