I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
