I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
