I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
