Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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