I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
