is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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