they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
