Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize