Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
