yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
