dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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