So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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