Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize