when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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