from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
