Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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