The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
