Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
