I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
