The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
