He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.