Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
