i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay