I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
