butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you didnt know i had herpes?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize