i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
