my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
