So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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