I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I want her autograph on my taint
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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