hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
