He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
