living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
