I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They have beer where we have blood.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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