i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
