Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
