So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
