just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
