Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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