you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was like eating out sand paper
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
