Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
