it hurts more in the daytime
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
