i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
