Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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