It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
