remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize