no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
