yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
