Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
