its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
