Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
zippers are such a cool invention
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
