He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
